The Aldernon Good Tavern Guide
Let me introduce myself; I am Josef Bugman and I am critic, writer, editor, publisher and distributor for the Aldernon Good Tavern Guide, the only guide you need to the inns, taverns, bars, pubs and all other manner of establishments across this fine land. I have ventured high and low, far and wide, to much personal expense, and dare I say risk, to bring you all you need to know about any drinking, eating or sleep establishment you may find yourself in. __TOC__ The Central Plains Caipitael The Book and Blessing Venue: '''A rustic looking building that stands out against the modern homogeneity of Caipitael, what the book and blessing lacks in creature comforts, it makes up for in character '''Manager: A tiefling man by the name of 'Preacher', you'd be forgiven for thinking you'd stepped into a temple rather than a tavern. Preacher is friendly, professional and most importantly, honest. You'll never find yourself overcharged or under served Services: '''Drinks, food, lodging. '''Signature Drink: The Book and Blessing has probably the best selection of non-alcoholic beverages in town, so if you're off the harder stuff, do stop by. Review: My stay in The Book and Blessing was delightful, if not a little more bare bones than I usually experience. The food, while simplistic, was wonderfully filling and the ale was cool and refreshing. The beds were clean and comfortable, although quite small. My only complaint is that Preacher can be quite passionate about religion; if I wanted to hear a sermon, I'd visit a temple Score: 3/5 - bare essentials done well, honest establishment The Jealous Goat Venue: On the outside The Jealous Goat looks like any other Caipitael building. Inside however, prepare yourself for the unmistakable smell of goat and a layer of straw across the floor. It feels more like a barn than a bar. Manager: Although run by a human man called Stephan, you could be mistaken for thinking that Gunther the Goat runs the bar. Somewhat of a novelty, as long as you can get over the pungent odor of goat and know to keep your possession out of nibbling range, you'll be fine. Services: Drink, food, lodging, pets welcome (provided Gunther doesn't take a disliking) Signature Drink: Somehow this venue manages to serve scumble without burning down or exploding. Needless to say, I did not sample, for I value my tastebuds, faculties and generally being alive Review: I'll be completely honest, the Jealous Goat was not my cup of tea. The staff were gruff, almost as much as the titular goat, and everything was bare bones. I feel for how and what was offered, the prices were slightly too high Score: 1/5 - eau du goat is not in season, nor will I think it ever will be The Mouse and Locket Venue: Tucked away quietly in one of the more discrete corners of the city, The Mouse and Locket is a beautifully quaint dark-wood building with original black iron fixtures. Inside is dark, although not in the creepy way. Think more secluded study rather than gloomy hole Manager: An oddity of the Caipitael hospitality business, The Mouse and Locket seems to have a new manager each month. The only constant is the charming head of the wait staff, Lucy Services: '''Food, drink, meeting spaces '''Signature Drink: When I asked Lucy about their signature drink, she brought me a wonderful concoction called a 'Dark and Stormy'. Review: The Mouse and Locket has a homely, cosy feel, which is wonderful in the middle of these cold months. The establishment is never that busy, so you'll always be able to find a table. Score: 4/5 - A wonderful establishment, although the drinks were a little pricy The Vulgar Warriors Hall Venue: To describe the facia of this building as 'grim' would be an understatement. So would 'utilitarian', 'functional' and 'intimidating' Manager: When I asked to speak with the manager, I was threatened with physical violence Services: '''As far as I could tell, only drinks were offered '''Signature Drink: I daren't ask Review: I will be frank, this was probably the worst tavern I've visited. Threatening atmosphere, rude staff and generally abhorrent Note: since writing this review, the Vulgar Warriors Hall was destroyed in a mysterious blaze. Thankfully no one was hurt, so nothing of value was lost Score: 1/5 - Avoid at all costs The Cleric's Bottle Venue: Situated in a renovated temple, the Cleric's Bottle has one of the most unique looks in all of Caipitael. Sumptuously padded pews replace typical stools and benches, and drinks are served in divine looking goblets. Manager: Run by a aarakocra woman hailing from distant lands who goes by the name of T'charka, she is unabashed about embracing the unconventional. She overflows with personality and welcomes her patrons personally Services: '''Drinks, food '''Signature Drink: When visiting The Cleric's Bottle, you simply must try a beverage from the Sapphire Sea called 'Ocean Mist'. The brew is sour, with a green tint and a slight fizz, with a delightfully spice aftertaste. Review: Probably one of the oddest venues I've visited, The Cleric's Bottle struck me as more of a novelty locale rather than somewhere you'd frequent on a regular basis. Prices are steep, but the service is exceptional and the drinks magnificent. Score: '''3/5 - novelty value aside, the prohibitive prices of this venue prevent me from rating it higher. The service and drinks are exceptional, but at this price, I'd expect nothing less. The Magus' Flagon '''Venue: Located near the Concealed College of the Arcane Arts, The Magus' Flagon (known colloquially as 'The Flagon') is a popular student dive. It embraces it's arcane associations with the look of a crumbling mages tower on the outside, and all manor of magical trinkets and accoutrements inside. Manager: The manager, a half-elf woman by the name of 'Yiggret the Wise', claims to be a 'beer-o-mancer' and former wizard, although I suspect this may be false(!). Either way, she embraces the role and adds a bit of eccentric flair to the place. Services: '''Food, drink, lodgings '''Signature Drink: The Magus' Flagon services a drink called 'dragons blood', although I suspect it may simply be a variation of the popular student beverage 'snakebite', with the addition of some ginger ale for that fiery taste. Review: When I went to the Flagon, I found it heaving, busy with students. While packed, the atmosphere was jubilant and the service surprisingly quick. Drink prices were very low, presumably to catch the student market, and the food was simple but pleasing. The menu offered fare from across the island, probably to cater to all the different students studying in the college Score: 4/5 - A busy but pleasant venue with good prices. Bailelúibín The Dancing Donkey Venue: A charming, rustic farmhouse style venue, the Dancing Donkey is appealing inside and out. Manager: A gruff dwarf gentleman named Hans, while brusk he is also efficient and attentive and doesn't bruck no trouble in his inn Services: '''Food, drink, lodgings, stabling '''Signature Drink: The Dancing Donkey serves scumble, although have somehow managed to figure how to dilute it without the usual fumes Review: A simple but pleasant tavern idea to stay at if you're passing through the area. Score: 3/5 - A simple and enjoyable place to have a drink. The Mountain Lights Venue: '''A typical timber build tavern spread across three floors with a well maintained facing. '''Manager: The Mountain Lights is run by a delightful couple from Tåanroud by the name of Elissa and Derique. They offer a polite and familial service, with a homely smile. Services: '''Food, drink, lodgings '''Signature Drink: Called the "Aurora", this multi-layered spirit is as strong as it is colourful. Review: I wouldn't have expected much from the Mountain Lights, but I was delightfully surprised. The service was pleasant, the atmosphere was unique and the prices reasonable. Score: 4/5 - Would recommend if you're visiting the area, great price and great service. The Druids Head Venue: '''The Druids Head is an odd duck of a tavern, it's not technically a public house. The venue is built in a renovated cottage that belongs to one of the local nobles '''Manager: There is no formal manager and the pub is instead run as a 'hobby' by some of the local toffs Services: '''Technically none, although I was invited for a drink as a courtesy, being in the area. '''Signature Drink: They had a very nice 120 year old whiskey that I was too afraid to sample. Review: I didn't intend to review this venue as it wasn't technically a tavern, but I was invited (quite insistently) to come and sample the atmosphere Score: '''2/5 - Good selection and lush interior, but not technically a tavern. The Trade Lands False City Isle The Frozen Coast Oighear Cósta Tha Cridhe An T-òran '''Venue: Manager: Services: ''' '''Signature Drink: Review: Score: An T-òrd Agus Innean Venue: Manager: Services: ''' '''Signature Drink: Review: Score: Tha Leadairte Uchd-èididh Venue: Manager: Services: ''' '''Signature Drink: Review: Score: Dum’Dachaigh Ùr A note from your humble reviewer on dwarven culture. We are not a people of formal eating and drinking establishments. Any dwarf worth their gold would brew their own ale, and no dwarf would see a stranger go without food or a bed. As such finding an inn or tavern, in the traditional sense, is very unlikely in the dwarfholme of Dum’Dachaigh Ùr. I would recommend that if this confuses you, maybe pay a visit to this great city and see dwarven hospitality for yourself. The Enlightened Peaks Salannloch Cathair An Draoi Drunken Venue: Manager: Services: ''' '''Signature Drink: Review: Score: An Fíonchaor Fearr Venue: Manager: Services: ''' '''Signature Drink: Review: Score: An Fae Glas Venue: Manager: Services: ''' '''Signature Drink: Review: Score: An Measc Speisialta Venue: Manager: Services: ''' '''Signature Drink: Review: Score: Simplíocht Venue: Manager: Services: ''' '''Signature Drink: Review: Score: Category:The Aldernon Good Tavern Guide Category:Goods and Services